So why would anyone want to "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" (which we will heretofore refer to as "Pirates" for the sake of brevity) based on - or should I say suggested by - a Disney theme ride?

Because it’s fun!

Well, fun is the only word that describes my enjoyment of "Pirates."

And what makes it fun? The three basic ingredients of any good movie: the writing, the acting, and the direction. We shall assume that the set design, special effects et al - come under the domain of the director. Theoretically he chooses what we see and hear. Of course producer Jerry Bruckheimer has a knack for knowing what’s hot and what’s not. "Bad Boys II" may be the exception to the rule, discounting what it might rake in overseas. But that’s another story.

The Plot: Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), who fancies himself the greatest pirate of his generation wants to get his ship, The Black Pearl, back. It was taken from him by the mutineer Barbosa (Geoffrey Rush) who now calls himself Captain. He and his crew are under a curse. They are like zombies. They don’t eat flesh but they can’t die. There true nature is revealed in moonlight. They appear as skeletons. To remove the curse, they have to return one last gold piece to the island where the rest of the cursed treasure is hidden. They also have to spill a little blood of the thief who stole it. A few drops from a descendent of the thief would do just as nicely. That’s where Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) comes in. She has the object of Barbosa’s quest. But she took it from Will Turner, when, as a young girl, she took it off his unconscious person when he was rescued at sea. It belongs to him but he thinks he lost it when he was rescued. Years later, fate brings him together with Jack Sparrow when Elizabeth is kidnapped by Barbosa. Sparrow, of course, is wanted by the British crown and Will, who loves Elizabeth, becomes a pirate by association. Sparrow is after Barbosa and the Black Pearl. Turner is after Barbosa and Elizabeth. And the king’s men are after everybody.

The Writers

The names of Ted Elliot and Terry Rosso may not be on the tips of everyone’s tongues, but if you enjoyed 1998’s "The Mask of Zorro," then you’ve already had a taste of their adventurous spirit. "Pirates" has the same zest. Like their Zorro, Jack Sparrow is a swaggering hero whose ego is only exceeded by the stupidity of his adversaries. Elliot and Rosso have mined the traditional swashbucklers of yore to come up with a tall tale that owes as much to "Captain Blood" as it does to "Treasure Island." The plot is intricate, the characters memorable, and the dialogue often funny. "Pirates" walks a fine line between adult entertainment - there is killing - and children’s fare - many of the pirates could give the Three Stooges a run for their money. The only drawback is that "Pirates" is too long by one visit too many back to the ‘island.’

The Actors

Johnny Depp must’ve had a field day creating the tics that define Jack Sparrow. Depp doesn’t really speak his lines. He lets the words roll off his tongue as if each syllable were an afterthought. Though the immortal phrase "Yo! Ho! Ho! And a bottle of rum!" is never mentioned you get the idea that the pirate elixir runs through his veins. Always off kilter he still manages to keep his wits about him. Think Jackie Chan in "Drunken Master." When Sparrow he is stranded on an atoll with Elizabeth Swann with a treasure trove of rum, Depp makes Sparrow riotously incoherent.

Geoffrey Rush’s Barbosa is menacingly funny in a diabolical Captain Hook - ala Peter Pan - kind of way. His performance seems inspired by Robert Newton’s Long John Silver from 1950’ "Treasure Island" with his Cheshire cat grin, exaggerated gestures, and calculating smile.

Orlando Bloom is dashing and Keira Knightley is fetching as Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, the two love struck romantics who have eyes of each other and wanderlust in their hearts. Their relationship is not unlike Errol Flynn’s and Olivia de Havilland’s in "Captain Blood" from 1935.

The Director

Gore Verbinski blends the comedy and action of "Pirates" as seamlessly as he did horror and suspense in "The Ring" (2002). Oddly enough both are ghost stories. In "Pirates," Gore intrigues us with a sea rescue, a burning ship, and the specter of a - real or imagined - of a ship in the mist. Mystery segues into swashbuckling, tongue in cheek adventure, secrets are revealed, and special effects pirates invade the coast looking for a gold piece to free their souls and awaken the senses held captive by a curse. Jack Sparrow has to help or hinder the pirates to get his ship back, depending upon the situation. The pirates need Elizabeth Swann for the gold piece and her blood, or so they think. Elizabeth needs to get away from her father to avoid an arranged marriage. Will Turner needs Sparrow to rescue Elizabeth. And Sparrow needs Turner to…. Verbinski mixes all the heavy plotting with some heady humor, great swordplay, and daring escapes at sea and on land. He never dwells on one scene too long, moving on once a plot point as been made. "Pirates" adheres to the great story tradition of a classic Hollywood spectacle. You may feel antsy by the last reel (because of that once to often visit back to the ‘island.’) but you never lose interest. The ending, as predictable as it is, still offers a one last final surprise. Gore Verbinski pulls it off!

Copyright 2003

"Treasure Island" (1950) - The Disney one with Robert Newton as the rascally Long John Silver in this first class adaptation of the Robert Louis Stevenson adventure classic. Bobby Driscoll is equally as good as Jim Hawkins who may be too friendly with Long John for his own good. See Newton in this and compare to Geoffrey Rush’s Barbosa. Newton repeated the role in Cinemascope, in "Long John Silver" in 1954.

"Treasure Island" (1934) - Just as good as the Disney film with a more cantankerous Wallace Beery as Long John and Jackie Cooper as Jim Hawkins.

"Captain Blood" (1935) - This is the one that made Errol Flynn a star. He’s Peter Blood, an Irish doctor unjustly convicted of aiding and abetting an enemy of the English crown. He escapes from his island prison to become a pirate. Olivia de Havilland is the love interest. With Basil Rathbone.

"The Black Swan" (1942) - Tyrone Power is the scourge of the Seven Seas who would give it all up for redheaded beauty Maureen O’Hara. If only he could get rid of the dastardly George Sanders and get a pardon from the King!

"Anne of the Indies" (1954) - Jean Peters plays the legendary female pirate that is long on action and short on drama. With Louis Jourdan who would later make "Gigi."